Love Yourself First

"Love yourself first so you know what you deserve."


“Love yourself first.” What does that even mean? I feel like I hear it often, but how do you begin to love yourself? It sounds easy, but is it? Well, to me it means to be truly happy with who you are…not who you pretend to be, but who you really are.  Love your flaws despite what people have to say. (Because, honey, we’re human, meaning, we’re flawed.) Enjoy being with others, but most importantly, enjoy being alone. Laugh at yourself. Know your worth. 

I’ll admit, I love myself now, but I’m not sure if I did before. I say this because I was insecure in a lot of different ways. Why? Hell if I freaken’ know. Whomever I was dating, I sabotaged the relationship. Or worse, I was with someone knowing they were completely wrong for me. Also, I would compare myself to others. This, all of the above and more were ways in which I was insecure. Well, I learned. I learned this, Love yourself first so you know what you deserve. SIMPLE. You can’t/shouldn’t be in a relationship if you do not know what you deserve. When you learn to love yourself, you learn what you want/need from yourself and from your significant other. These things should be voiced without shame/guilt. And if that person is right for you, they too will do the same and respect you. Love yourself first before you can love someone or they can love you. If you don’t, how can you expect them to?

Understanding that not everyone will love you, nor do they have to, can be a tough pill to swallow, but it’s true. Not everyone will. Once you can get past this thought, loving yourself becomes easier. Love yourself more than the idea of others loving you. If they don’t already love you, why stress that idea? I mean, it’s exhausting, isn’t it? It sure was for me. I wanted everyone to love me. Yes, everyone, not just whom I was with. (I had issues.) If someone didn’t, I thought something was wrong with me. But no, nothing was wrong with me. Nothing is wrong with me. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and that’s okay. Neither are you. Heck, I’m awesome. If someone doesn’t see that, it’s on them, not me. (Kidding, but really.) No, this isn’t me being cocky. This is about me realizing that I am worthy of love and that comes from first loving myself. 

"Love and be happy with yourself."

With all of this being said, more like.. "Okay, Maribel, get to the point.".. I’m just so happy to finally be at a place where I know my self worth. Because of this, I love myself and am capable of loving others.

Love and be happy with yourself. You’re you, that’s not going to change. Start loving and enjoy every minute. Enjoy you

Portraits captured by Lyndon Maristela.